Is weight loss just about willpower?

Dear Jess, I’ve tried everything to lose weight, but I just don’t have enough willpower…help!

Sometimes it does seem as if people struggle to achieve change by sheer willpower. This is most uncomfortable and, in the long-run, very difficult to keep up.

Difficulty making desired changes often lies in counterproductive thought and emotional patterns that block the way. Making a positive change becomes a more effortless and rewarding process with a few tips about how to use your thoughts and emotions to work for you, rather than against you.

First and foremost – set a goal for yourself and focus on defining the end results. A clear end result is critical. In your case, you say you want to lose weight. I would argue that this isn’t the true end result; it is a “how” in getting to the end result. Explore the end result more deeply. You want to lose weight because…
…you will feel healthier?
…you will feel happier?
…you will look better?

I don’t know what the answer is for you personally. My recommendation is to look beyond your weight loss to the bigger end result that you are hoping for. Identify that end result. Focus on that end result.

Once you set a goal for yourself, everything you think, say, and do brings you closer to that goal – or farther away, depending on your thoughts, words and actions.

That’s a very powerful statement.

Read it again:
Once you set a goal for your self, everything you think, say, and do brings you closer to that goal – or farther away, depending on your thoughts, words and actions.

Given this, your thoughts and emotions become your allies. You don’t have to change them, just stop and pay attention to them. What are you feeling? What are you thinking?

Now ask yourself two questions:
1. Is this thought or feeling moving you closer to or farther away from your goal? Yes or no – there is no maybe.
2. If your answer is no. What can I do RIGHT NOW to move toward my goal?

Your brain is a very compliant computer. It will try really hard to accommodate your emotions and thoughts. Let’s imagine you went to bed late last night, tossed and turned all night, and woke up feeling fatigued. Most likely you will push the snooze button, turn over and whine to your spouse (or to yourself), “Oh, I am so tired. I didn’t sleep a wink last night. I am so, so tired.” You have just given your brain a clear directive. Obligingly, it will filter INTO your awareness all evidence that you are, indeed, oh, so tired.

Let’s use this accommodating facility of the brain to your benefit. In the above scenario, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings: you feel exhausted and worried about how you are going to get through the day ahead. You mind is projecting nothing but problems all day because you didn’t sleep well. You are programming your brain to deliver that very stressful day about which you are worried.

Instead:

STOP and ask yourself two questions:
1. Is this thought moving you closer to or farther away from your goal? Yes or no.
2. If your answer is no…and in this case it is a resounding “NO”. Ask, “What can I do RIGHT NOW to move toward my goal?”

In this case the question is more specific: “What can I do RIGHT NOW to have more energy?” As soon as you ask yourself this question, your brain begins to solve this question for you. You begin to come up with lots of ideas:
-you can take a refreshing shower
-you can brew up a cup of your favorite tea or coffee
-you can open the windows and appreciate the morning
-you can take a morning walk, or practice a few minutes of yoga
-you can meditate

This process stops the negative thoughts and actions that keep you right where you don’t want to be. This process begins a cascade of thoughts that lead to actions that move you in the direction you want to go!

A quick review:
• Have a clear goal and stay focused on the end result.
• Start to take actions that move you toward your goal. Any action; just start somewhere.
• Begin to assess your feelings, thoughts, words, and actions at any given point in time. Are you moving in the right direction?
• Redirect your thoughts, words, and actions, if necessary. “What can I do RIGHT NOW….?

There is not a magic trick that makes change a snap, but once you apply some of these tips to your life, it will seem like magic…because as your thoughts, words and actions change…so will the outcome. Things you desire will come into your life more easily.

Remember,
“You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.”
- Aristotle

Believe in your ability to change-
Jess